Les Lettres de la Liza

A parody letter from the Evening Press, December 7, 1940

My dear Mary I've got nothing to say so am writing you a letter hoping you are well for I am well that is except where my head touched where I fell down the stairs in the black out and saw stars and me not a worker so no complaint to speak of yet very bad in that spot enough to register which I would have done if I had known for you know quite well I'm a worker in spite of being married touch wood.

I'm not eating much with longnose at 1s 2d a pound but we have potatoes with their jumpers on which is the new fashion and very good but not very fattening with bread and scrape and in a way where potato meets potato for there's some you can't and some you can see and however it all goes the same way home in the manner of speaking. Harry is a proper home bird now and never comes home excited as he used to and is or rather seems quite unreasonable that way for I like a man to swallow his troubles even though I don't approve of his drowning them if you know what I mean.

As for me I get lots of fun going to Town in a van on Saturdays for you never know what you're going to hear and once you've heard it you don't know if it's true but hope some of it is and some of it ain't. Gosh that sounds like you'd write it yourself. Well Mary remember I've invited you home for New Year's Eve and the bottle is yet safe under the bed if in case as you'd say. I think that your John and my Harry need not stay with us that night for they've got their own way of being happy and like I says you can have too much of a good thing.

A la perchaine,

LIZA.